new year, new me?

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happy 2011. -_-

i don't like new years and the hype surrounded by them. a few years ago, i had what was probably my worst new years and they've never been the same since. they've always been accompanied by some type of disappointment. such is life. so, every new years, im reminded of such and im in a funky mood.

yet another thing that bothers me about the whole new years season is everyones comments/promises/revelations about the prior year, and the year to come. in my opinion, EVERY DAY is a new start. every hour, every minute, every second. if something is important enough to you to wholeheartedly want to change, you'd start right away. there is NO need to wait until january 1st to start being on time, lose weight, cut off negative people, concentrate more on yourself, spend more time with your friends, etc. what's wrong with now? what was wrong with november 26th? why set the bar so high and expect that all of a sudden, what you couldn't accomplish over the entire course of the previous year, you can magically find success doing again on this day in particular?

i rang in my new year, cranberry juice wasted, mopping my floor, bed unmade, with two bags full of clothes that needed to be washed. this doesn't mean ill never have another hangover, that my floors will always be clean, and that ill always have a sloppy bed with clothes that need to be washed!

i know im not perfect. sadly, i tend to remind myself more than i'd like to. but the things about me i want to change, i know aren't things that are going to change overnight. i know for damn sure that starting january 1st doesn't add any juice to the cause. most of the examples i listed above as "resolutions" (sans losing weight) are things that i'd like to do. but of course, in true dana fashion, im in no rush lol. my personal struggles with being on time as some of you may know are an ongoing battle (people tend to think that they're bad with time until they meet me). lol im pretty good with cutting people off (as some others of you may know :/ ), but there's still room on the chopping block. on the flip, im also pretty bad at continuing positive relationships. im not great at staying in contact.... i tend to be one of those awesome people who you just all of a sudden wonder how they're doing cause you haven't heard from them in a while lol

*sigh*
all in all, we all have things we'd like to work on, but stop kidding yourself. its a journey. realize that every breath you take is another chance at a new beginning. start treating your life as such. i know i try to everyday.


I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestioned ability of a man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.
~ Henry David Thoreau